I thank you Lord that I do this with Your ability and not mine and every reader acknowledges that as they proceed, they ask and acknowledge that they need Your help to open their heart and their understanding, even unto Your Kingdom. Amen.
About 10 years ago, I fell at the feet of Christ, not being able to continue and God lifted me up, opened my eyes and showed me they way in which to go to get myself untangled. Yes, I had loved the world and worked very hard to be successful. I was well known, wealthy, in control, cleaver, able, desired and envied by the world. A great achiever as always .... people looked up at me! I had built my life!
Yes, I created me and didn't allow God to form or fashion me. I made me into what the world celebrated and it was empty, hard, unfulfilling and slavery! He opened my eyes, I could suddenly see a way out of my immediate circumstances, but I had to take the steps by faith and be willing to walk it. I did, and bit by bit He showed me more and directed my path. I had to untangle myself and lay down the 'me' I had created and allow Him to form and fashion me into His image.
I had to realise and believe that if I could create success which the world admired, then how much more could He do with me and my life if I surrendered it completely and if I allowed Him to be the head! I had no DENY myself and all my achievements. I had to lay myself down and become nothing. It takes courage, but with God all things are possible. He will not ask you to do what He has not already given you. Just as a dormant seed has everything to yield life and the ability is already within, so He has given us everything including His Spirit with which He overcame the world, even death!
It was a journey indeed.... From drug addicts to children to prostitutes with children to teens, delinquents, disturbed, abused, and special needs cases. My journey was not just a journey, but His school and His equipping for all He had called me to do. He taught me and I learned to listen and to trust Him.
During the journey He asked me to use all I had earned and made whilst serving the world and myself. When I had sold all my properties and used the money, He sent the children. He provided a home. I had no funds for the rental, but I claimed it for the work of God and His Kingdom and I looked after it as if it were my own as I believed it would be mine as I had claimed it. My actions strengthened my faith.
After I moved into the home, God told me that I would be like the widow Elijah had gone to. I would have just enough, but that I should share it and that it would not run out. He also said that afterwards I would be like the widow Elisha had told to fill the vessels when they wanted to take her children because of debt.
By God's grace when I came to this stage I only had 3 children. In the last 3 and half years I had many dependants, often we were 9 or 11 in the home. On average 7. I informed Social Services, my tenants and my landlady of my financial difficulty, but I could not act as God had not told me to move or to do anything. I still did not know what the 'vessels' in the tale were in my situation.
Three weeks later, God showed me that I should go and loan from all I knew what they had to spare. Over the years I had helped over 150 drug addicts, I had taken in the lost, sick, homeless and disturbed from many churches and I had realised that they who had the answer did not know the answer or trust and believe the ANSWER.
I had not asked for help in all the years. God had given me 2 hands, 2 feet, a brain and great ability. I used it as I wanted to serve Him better than I served myself and the world. In fact, when I started I told God that I was willing to do all, but that He would have to make me able to do all (even financially) as He was a BIG God and I could not discredit Him by standing with my hands out as if He was not able. I would not ask for alms or help! But, now it was an instruction, and I know He always has a reason and a lesson.
God could deliver me without me asking for help. Why did I need to ask? Was He testing if I had pride. I felt no shame in asking. I knew it was not pride. Did He want witnesses to see the miracle He was about to perform in my life? Maybe, He may even want to build their faith, but I believe He wanted to show me who believed in me and all He had instructed me to do and all I had done and sacrificed in His Name for His name sake.
As I had been working with the 'decay' (broken, unwanted, rebellious, sick, disturbed, etc) of society, I had been unsocial not just because people felt fearful and nervous around me with all my companions, but also as the world was dangerous to those I was aiding. The world could steal their life and destroy their hope or even infect them and lure them away before they became totally free. Further more, there were also those Christians that wanted fame and glory that would put the lost in jeopardy that were just as dangerous as those that had not their identity in Christ, that needed to be needed, that would become someone's saviour at the cost of them losing out on finding Christ for themselves. In short I have lived a quiet secluded life because of the love I have for God and the faith I have that He had sent each and every person to me. I have sacrificed my money, my time, my social relationships, family, friends and my name because I have believed Him.
All this and the fact that I used what I had, as opposed to making money out of those in desperation and need, made me do the work by myself and therefore I lived a life cut-off from everyone as I didn't have the time to stay in contact. Now, I needed to make contact. As I contacted people, I eventually realised why I needed to do all this. Years back I pained a T-shirt, still displayed on my web, stating: "I invest my money, I spend my time and I give my name, because I believe". God had shown me that 3 things He does because He has faith in us, which is the test of TRUTH for us as well: He calls us by Hos Name as He is not ashamed of us as He knows we will make it. He invests His time in us and all He has He gives us, because He knows that when we see who He is, we will be free! The TRUTH will set you free!
So, where am I heading with all this? I know who is with me, in faith and in love and in the building of all He has instructed me to do and I thank all those that helped for having faith in me and all I have done in his Name.
God's Word to me that He will deliver me, will become a reality and everyone that did not believe will indeed know that God has instructed me and called me for this purpose to prepare a generation for Him.... to rebuild Jerusalem with a people that will labour and build - building whilst having their weapons at hand ready to fight just as in the time of Nehemiah.
I will have the strength of a 40 year old even when I am 80, as I am called unto this purpose and indeed you will see me delivered forever from all debt and I will not lack, but prosper and all I had had given up and laid down in this world, will be restored to me 100 fold. All I have sowed in and by faith the last 10 years, I will reap 100 fold and death will not taste be and not be my portion in Jesus Name. Amen.
Now I declare to you that the latter will be greater than the former! See, God has done it! Amen and Amen!
